They say opposites attract, and each morning, it’s on display in my house when the alarm goes off. My wife, Ronni, loves the snooze bar. She seems to look forward to not just tapping it or hitting it; when she goes for the snooze bar, she smacks it! It’s almost a part of her waking up ritual. If she wants to get up at 7:30 am, she sets her alarm for 6:45 am so she can smack that snooze bar around for the next 45 minutes.
I’m just not a snooze bar guy. Quite frankly, I don’t even like the name “snooze bar.” I think it should be renamed, “lazy bar.” I can tell you right now, without hesitation, I have never hit, the snooze bar over the past 40 years. I don’t know where to find it, how it works, or how much time it gives you to not wake up. The fact is this: I don’t believe in snooze bars.
Now, this doesn’t make me right or others wrong… exactly. I’m sure there are plenty of good reasons to hit the snooze bar. Maybe you accidently set the clock ten minutes earlier than you meant to. Maybe you forgot this was your morning to sleep ten minutes later than usual. Maybe you wanted to wake your spouse up, and then get yourself up ten minutes later to keep from bumping into each other in the bathroom.
I’m guessing there are plenty of people in this world who are fully functioning members of society and probably don’t take too kindly to my over opinionated attack on the lowly snooze bar… wherever it’s located! But in defense of those who just can’t hit that, uh, thing, let me tell you why we can’t do it. It’s because we’re afraid
We’re afraid that somehow, the act of hitting that bar will spill into other aspects of our lives. After all, who actually hears the sound of the alarm going off and really wants to get out of bed?! That goes for brushing our teeth, showering, shaving, getting to work on time, and so much more. It’s not easy, but day after day, we do these things because we know that’s what we have to do to ultimately improve our chances of success.
Imagine if there was some weird bar that we could keep hitting to put off everything we didn’t want to do. You don’t really have to imagine too hard because they exist and are all around us.
- When we don’t want to get to concentrate and get down to work, we hit the snooze bar and play one more game of solitaire.
- When we don’t want to make a difficult call, or finish a difficult assignment, we hit the snooze bar and answer a few meaningless emails that could clearly wait.
- When we don’t want to complete an overdue project around the house, we hit the snooze bar and work on just about anything meaningless we can get our hands on.
I’m quite sure there are many who can competently manage the lazy… I mean, the snooze bar, and keep it from infecting their lives. The truth is, I’m just not one of them. As one of my favorite comedians, (other than my son), Jim Gaffigan once said of the snooze bar, “Nothing like starting off the day with a little procrastination. As my first decision of the day… I will go back to sleep.” Nope; I don’t want to know where it’s located, nor will I ever hit it. For those who do: Vive la difference!