Part Two – Let It Go

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Steinbeck’s Reverend Jim Casy and his immortal words of wisdom.

Part one of this BLArticle® series outlined the pain and anger that goes along with a bad breakup, whether it be from a friend, a spouse, a manager, or a company.   Assigning full blame to someone else and telling story after story describing the wrongs that have been committed, can have serious ramifications:  Not only does it deplete your energy, but it also limits your opportunity to evolve.  The first step to recovery is honestly accepting some responsibility for what happened, and finding the lesson that you can learn from the experience.

The second step sounds easier than the first step, and it is relatively simple, but you’ve got to commit to it.  This next step is simply this:

Let it go.

If holding on to your anger would somehow punish those who inflicted this pain, or make the ache go away, I’d tell you to hold on to it for all its worth.  But it doesn’t.

Let it go.

Trust me when I say this: No one – even those who really care about you – wants to hear the stories, but many do want to hear about your recovery.

Let it go.

Each time you tell “the stories,” you force yourself to relive the pain of the past.  You also continue to give the power to the entity that created this pain.

Let it go.

You’ve learned the lesson that came from this event.  You are not a victim, and you’ve accepted your share of the responsibility.   You don’t need to study it, or recite your stories to anyone, including yourself, ever again.

Let it go.

It’s time to focus on the future and let go of the past.

Think how extraordinary it would be to hear these words from someone who is going through a personal or business break up: “It was a difficult experience, and many things that happened were not particularly nice, but some of the responsibility fell on my shoulders as well.  I’ve learned from this experience, and I’ve moved on.”

When you hear someone say that, you’re not hearing the voice of a victim.  You’re hearing the voice of a healthy human being who has evolved and is prepared for the next steps that life has in store.

You are not a prisoner of the past.  It doesn’t matter how abusive the situation you are coming from was, and it doesn’t matter how battered you may feel.  Learning from your mistakes, and letting go of your anger, will set you free.  As for those who have wronged us, there is wisdom in the saying by one-time preacher Jim Casy in The Grapes of Wrath:  “Maybe there ain’t no sin and there ain’t no virtue, they’s just what people does.  Some things folks do is nice and some ain’t so nice, and that’s all any man’s got a right to say.”

Learn, evolve, and let it go.

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